"The heartbreak of being cheated on while pregnant - and why I decided to stand by my man"

A moral dilemma.

11 Apr 2018

Rumours that Khloe Kardashian's boyfriend, Tristan Thompson, cheated on her while she was pregnant with her first child are showing no sign of abating. After he was spotted on camera getting up close and personal with another woman in a club surfaced, the entire family apparently unfollowed him on social media. While neither Khloe nor Tristan have commented on the rumours, we asked a pregnant woman who was cheated on during her pregnancy to discuss exactly how it felt - and the moral dilemma she was faced, deciding whether to leave him or stay with him for the sake of their baby.

Sally Steele, 25, a teaching assistant from Bristol is engaged to Dan Griffiths, 34, a self-employed builder. They have a daughter Ellie, seven and a son Thomas, five. Here, she shares her personal story...

Getty Images

"Pulling up to the driveway of the home I shared with my partner Dan, my heart lurched. At thirteen weeks pregnant, I’d had to leave work early with a splitting migraine and had hoped to come home and lie-down. Instead, I began to shake as I realised Dan's ex-girlfriend’s car was parked outside our house.

Storming through the front door, I caught the pair of them in the act, half-undressed and kissing passionately on the sofa in our living room. Dan leapt up, practically throwing his ex off him. ‘Nothing happened, we were just kissing!’ he screamed as I stared open-mouthed in shock. I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe as I ran upstairs where I found our bed linen all rumpled. For me that made it worse. They had done it in our bed. The bed we shared, where we’d made our baby. I didn’t know what to do.

Only a week earlier, Dan had been holding my hand as we’d gone together for our 12-week scan. Although we’d only been together for six months and I’d got pregnant by accident while still on the pill, we decided to keep the baby and I loved him and knew we had a future together. I thought he felt the same.

Looking back, there were obvious signs that he was cheating on me, but I didn’t like to admit it at the time. If I ever went near his phone, he’d snatch it away and put it in his pocket. He never allowed me anywhere near his social media - and when he stumbled in at 3am from a night out with the boys, it was always thanks to a ‘lock-in’ at his mate’s pub. Of course I was paranoid. I asked him several times if there was anyone else but he denied it. On a couple of occasions I’d ask his friends if he was really out with them for a ‘lock-in’ but they backed up his story.

I could not have felt more betrayed. Upstairs in our bedroom, I grabbed a bag, filled it with some clothes and raced out of the house without speaking to him. I went to my mum’s where, for the first week, I couldn’t even tell her what the problem was. I just needed some space.

‘Dan begged for forgiveness. He was ing me at all times of day via texts and calls but I couldn’t speak to him. He’d sit outside my mum’s house in the hope that I’d come out and talk to him. It was nearly three weeks later that I thought I’d give him another chance. My deciding factor was that I didn’t want my baby to grow up without a father but I had no idea if I could ever trust him again.

Dan was delighted and promised me that he’d never do anything like that to hurt me again. However, a week later, he came with me to the hospital for another scan as I’d not felt the baby moving. There was no heartbeat and I was rushed into emergency surgery. Dan was wonderfully supportive but I was very distant with him. I blamed him for the death of our baby – in some ways I still do. I don’t think I’d have lost it without all the unnecessary stress. He took a week off work to look after me but it took me a long time to feel like I could trust him.

I told him that the only way we could move on was if he was completely open with me. No more late nights, no more hiding his Facebook from me. If his phone buzzed with a message at 11pm at night, he’d show me what it said. But even so, whenever we had a row, I’d always bring up the affair or the miscarriage. It was an incredibly tough time and I didn’t know if we’d make it.

But then I got pregnant again eight months later. I’d been on the pill so I must be incredibly fertile. This time, however, it seemed to bond us in a way that it didn’t before. Two years after our daughter was born we had our son, and Dan is the most incredibly loving father.

‘Last month, he got down on one knee in the middle of a busy restaurant and proposed. He’d chosen the ring and we're planning a wedding for 2020.

‘Being cheated on at any time is horrible but when you’re pregnant and hormonal and vulnerable, it’s doubly heartbreaking. I suspect that most people split up as a result but my story shows that if you can work at it, you can build up the trust and have a happy ending.’