4 women reveal the moment they knew their relationship was over

Relationship experts explain why these women's break up hunches were right on cue


13 Sep 2017

Choosing whether you should stay or go can be an agonising decision. Here, we speak to women that decided to call a day on their relationship. Were they right to break it off? From controlling behaviour to that missing spark, here experts explain why these women's break up hunches were right on cue...

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"…he judged my looks"

"I was wearing new jeans, and playfully asked what he thought of them. He replied, 'If you lost some weight, I could feel proud to be your boyfriend.'" Geeta, 26

Why she was right: It exposed what her future could hold. "He had the potential to chip away at her self-esteem, long term," says psychologist . "Looking after the health of your partner is important, and sometimes challenging conversations are necessary, but this exchange doesn't fit into those progressive categories - he took a moment where she felt great, and used it to cut her down." So long, douchebag.

"…I felt nothing"

"We'd been together for six years. On the last night of our holiday, he kissed me, and I felt nothing. Not anger, not sadness, just no spark. We'd become friends." Louisa, 27

Why she was right: Friendship within relationships is good, but "feeling 'nothing' isn't friendship," says dating coach . Friends get us excited; make us laugh. "There was no passion left for Louisa and, most importantly, no desire to resurrect it."

"…I fancied someone else"

"We'd been together for two years and Rob was convinced we'd get married, but I wasn't sure. Then Alex walked into a lecture and I immediately wanted to date him. He wasn't textbook handsome - it was his energy. I realised I wasn't invested in Rob." Sara, 25

Why she was right: We all get crushes, but this unearthed something deeper. "Alex was the catalyst that enabled Sara to recognise the mismatched goals between her and Rob," says Kenny. "Those feelings were an emotional prompt." Being attracted to other people can highlight what's missing in a relationship. "Then, you have two choices: work hard to create it, or move on," adds relationship psychologist Sam Owen.

"…he totally overreacted"

"I was out for dinner with friends when I got a barrage of texts asking:'What's all your shit doing everywhere?' I replied, 'I'll tidy when I get home.' By the time I got back, he'd thrown my things out. He
was furious over something trivial, again." Sophie, 31

Why she was right: "He binned her things without allowing her to rectify the problem," says Owen. Being that controlling, aggressive and unpleasant about something minor was a red flag for the future. "He may have gone on to be domineering in other aspects of their relationship."

"…he didn't come home"

"He said he was too drunk and stayed at a colleague's house. Later, I saw texts synced to his iPad, asking a friend to lie for him. Suddenly, other previous lies about his whereabouts came into focus." Lauren, 28

Why she was right: "She was in denial mode up until this point," says Hemmings. "The texts reveal that he'd been manipulative and unfaithful - so the trust was shot. It's hard to get that purity of trust back."

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