We all know the sort. He's flaky, non-committal and never, ever meeting your mum. But while the relationship isn't going anywhere, the sex so is. Here's what the wrong guy has taught you about very right sex...
Ok, first things first, we're not suggesting you hang out round your local prison, trying to find the most unsuitable guy who comes your way. But the thing is (and it's a really annoying thing), the worst guys are often dynamite in the bedroom: bold, experimental, thrilling, and in total worship of every millimetre of your naked body. "There's something about the forbidden nature of the 'wrong' guy that appeals to the rebel in us," says psychologist Jo Hemmings. "They keep us on our toes and couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks, which in itself is very sexy. The adrenaline rush lets us open up the confident sexual persona we'd kept hidden, or didn't even know we had."
So, whether it's discovering your new go-to position or a new love for your body, this is what the worst of blokes have taught you about the best of sex. Skills that are going to make the right, deserving guy a very lucky man.
TRY KINKY NEW THINGS
"I had an 'arrangement' with a local scaffolder I met in a pub when he was celebrating his friend's release from prison. He was a bit rough to say the least - he had a kid somewhere and a scar from when someone had held a knife to his face. But he was kind of charming. And he fixed things in my house! We had AMAZING sex - he was very muscular and strong. He had a penchant for me keeping on a fake leopard-print coat during the act. Cringe. Basically he taught me I do like a bit of rough. I can have no-strings sex. I am capable of kicking a guy out afterwards and not letting him stay the night. It was the most exciting, hot thing that has happened to me. Until I woke up one morning to see he had taken all the money out of my purse." Jo, 27
"I was about 22 when I started dating a man in his thirties. He was a sweet guy - apart from being in love with someone else. But before he realized he could only be with her, he taught me about my inner exhibitionist - namely, that I have one! One night, he stripped me naked, pulled open the curtains, pushed me facing the window and started doing me doggy style. Another time, I got scarves, blindfolded him, tied him to the dining room chair and well, you get the rest. The next day, his boss asked him to explain the bruises on his wrist. I've never had more exciting sex. Sadly, he's now married to the girl he wasn't over." Karen, 29
EMBRACE A FLING
"Steve was 13 years older than me, with a nasal voice and an annoying cough. He was moody, didn't want me to meet his family, said he was too busy to see me on Valentine's Day and had a suspicious number of 'close' female friends. My friends all raised their eyebrows. But the sex was the best I've had: politically incorrect, man-takes-woman stuff. I still think about how skillfully he'd touch me. The sexual tension was huge. I don't think you've lived unless you've had a fling of crazy, horny, lust-fueled insanity." Jane. 29
"Raphael was unsuitable in so many ways: lazy, ambitionless, non-committal- oh, and he lived in a different city to me. But he was incredibly sexy and constantly horny. And he was the first man who I knew fancied. But with Raphael, there was no question. He looked at me like I was gorgeous, touched me like I was the most irresistible thing ever. Our relationship was never anything more than five or six weekends in bed together, but I'll always be grateful to him for teaching me that, yes, I've totally got it." Maria, 30
"After I broke up with a long-term boyfriend, a series of no-serious bad-boy 'relationships' helped me to have fun again, to be resilient, and to learn not to rely on men for my sense of self-worth. I learnt what I enjoy when it comes to sex. It gave me the confidence to take the lead in bed; not to be afraid to say what I want. All these bad-boy lessons now benefit my relationship with a good one." Suzanne, 28
DON'T HOLD BACK
"I dated a guy who was pure filth from the get-go. He asked for my number, then sent me a text saying how much he wanted me - where, in what position, how he'd touch me. I thought, let's just go with it. I was trying to move on from a broken heart and decided the best way to get over someone was, indeed, to get under someone new. On the third date, we had sex. Sex like I'd never had before - rough from the start. To everyone else, he was only after one thing. And they were right. But to me? He was a right dirty bastard who made me feel sexy and empowered. Don't hold back in the bedroom. As long as you're comfortable and it feels good, go wild." Becky, 27
"I met an older guy just after he'd divorced his wife, so the timing was terrible - I wanted something serious, he didn't. I hoped I could change his mind; I couldn't. But he was more experienced in bed than I'd ever known: commanding, charismatic and with a filthy glint in his eye. He owned a sex-toy website. He'd bring out vibrators and ask me to use them in front of him. He even took me to Amsterdam to see a live sex show. It was so new to me that for two months it was like having my own sex tutor. Basically, brilliant." Zoe, 26
"Dan pursued me like a hawk, pushed things forward at a million miles an hour ('I want to meet your parents!'; 'I want to see you ever day!') and then decided, about a month in, that he was done. But he taught me two things:1. I don't like being spanked. There is nothing I like about thrusting away on top, then being whacked on the arse as if I was a horse being told to giddy up. The same with licking. I do not like a guy licking my back, arms and legs - it's cold and gross. I told him I didn't like it and he said: 'Yeah, you do! and carried on. I now know that a guy who ignores what you say and carries in regardless Is not a good guy. 2. He was the first man to make me come through intercourse. And it's because of him that I now know the exact position and the exact movement to make it happen every time. Thankfully, neither involved spanking or licking." Sara, 28
"I once slept with a Spanish drug dealer in Marbella who was a major hair-puller (though I didn't discover his profession until the morning after). Combined with his hot accent, his larger-than-average penis and the trance music he insisted on playing all night, it turned out to be a rather good orgasm recipe. The hair pulling has stayed (who knew I liked it?!), but hell knows what happened to him, his drugs and his trance tunes." Leanne, 24
FIND OUT WHAT TURNS YOU ON
"When I was 22, I met Shane at work. We had a bit of a fling first (turned out he already had a girlfriend), and then before you could say 'too good to be true', we'd moved in together. He was very adventurous in the bedroom, and couldn't believe that I found it so hard to come. One weekend he took me to Camden Market, where he bought me my first vibrator. And a sheepskin rug. I remember spending the rest of Sunday in a fug of ecstasy, lying on this soft cloud and experimenting together. From then on, we used it every time we had sex. Unfortunately, he revealed even kinkier tastes, and I was never comfortable enough to try the more hardcore stuff - despite his increasingly insistent attempts. My heart would sink each time he'd said he'd been shopping in Soho! Although we split up, I'm still attached to my vibrator. Subsequent partners have never minded how much I rely on it, though I've never revealed who introduced me to it." Rose, 33
LOVE YOUR BODY
"I started sleeping with a male friend who continually blew hot and cold. One day he wanted a relationship, the next he didn't - he messed me around. But, in the bedroom, he's the only person who's made me feel 100% comfortable with my body. He was super-complimentary, and we were friends first, so I trusted him, which made the sex amazing. I used to avoid doggy style because I hated my flat bum, but he convinced me it was peachy. Sex from behind has now become my favourite position for guaranteed satisfaction." Roisin, 23
"Josh was the laziest man I've ever met. It was an effort for him to get up in the morning, let alone get a job. In bed, it was like he was doing you a favour just staying awake. But his fear of over-exertion led to the invention of one great position. We called it The Penguin (picture how penguins might have sex) - so, you're on top, you put him inside you and lie flat on top of him (legs flat, inside his). Then rock back and forth, up and down. You're like planks. Minimum effort, maximum results. It's now a regular in my arsenal of positions." Julia, 31
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